Shitty software is Adobe

In the past, there where letters as a form of literature, today there are emails … and bug reports. Today I worked on something for the Nooblounge, but i wasn’t quite able to, because Photoshop was a little … balky. I do expect such a behavior from a jackass, not from a application.

Because I neither new where the next adobe-office (or whatever) was nor had some eggs in readiness, so I decided to, one again, write a bug report:

Instable software is Fucking Instable

(I am actually quite annoyed by this.
Using your software, I always have to fear, that my computer gets struck down by the next Zero-Day-Code-Injection-Feature and joins some wibbely-wobbely botnet sect where the prophet is some ex-13-year-old-kid with an serious acne (ex-)problem (the kind of criminals you cannot imagine exist).
I just want photoshop to stay alive long enough to do at least one save, not crashing at about 42,14%.
Everything else, about you and software engeniering is hopeless anyway: Concepts like threading, nonblocking IO or not writing zero to every bit of memory you can get seem just to be to complex.

THIS BUG REPORT DIALOGUE CRASHED WHILE TYPING THE LAST REPORT (it’s brothers and sisters, the five processes called AdobeCrashDaemon had to be killed manually, WITH -9!))

Let’s deploy Adobe as a synonyme for shitty („What happend?“ – „I injured my knee“ – „Ohh, thats adobe!“).

Adobe feature request

I wrote about 5 actual bug reports about Adobe Products…then i realized , that something like this never happened to me before – at least not when i was not trolling, so this will be my next ticket (feature request or bug, what do you mean?)

Yes. I wrote a ticked and I did it again and again and again and then I laughed.
I put an angry smilie in the name-line and pretended do be „x-(“ and then I laughed.
I red your pseudo-feedback of ticket-appreciation and then I laughed.
I red your BugReportLicenseAgreement and then…I cried.

You deserve to be loved. The guy or she, sitting there, reading the rants, written by the Masters of the comic-book guy himself. You hate humanity, you hate nerds, geeks, your users, but you don’t have to. You just want to be loved. I love you. And then theres the management, who probably redirects all this and your earnings to /dev/null. Without using a computer of course. They just want to be loved too. Tell them…tell them you love them. Tell them „I love you, I want to hold you, kiss you always. Come on, let’s make love, let’s kill bugs.“ I tell them, will you join me? Then there’s the developers. Also tell them, tell everybody. Tell them to make love, not bugs. Let there be peace and free software where the great shitstorm caused sadness and misery. Remember: There’s someone who loves you – your psychologist.

Now could you please write good software?